New Beginnings
by avngstories
Summary: Melinda May, barely recovered from a helicopter crash, realizes something new has entered her life. She and Grant Ward face the future together.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine, just enjoying the characters.

**New Beginnings**

It was just the meds. That's what Melinda told herself for a week. Looking back, she was thankful that the meds prevented her from drinking during her first month. That guilt would have nearly killed her. But it was getting nearly killed that started the whole thing.

In January, they'd finished an extraction when a surface to air missile took down their chopper. She'd woken up at S.H.I.E.L.D. Medical two days later. Grant was there, sleeping in a chair and looking like hell. It was sweet, really. Stupid, but sweet. They weren't a secret on the Bus anymore, but the Hub was another matter.

He'd let her scold him for being there, took it like a pro. But he'd showed up the day she was released to take her home, anyway. He stayed for a week taking care of her. After a few days she was ambulatory, but was so used to him being around that she didn't insist he leave.

Grant was called away on a mission over the weekend, but somehow Coulson found a reason to send him back to base after a few days. They fell into a routine. He'd make breakfast while she showered by sitting on bench trying not to get her bandages wet. She absolutely refused to let him bath her. He'd have everything waiting on the table when she finally made out of the bathroom. They didn't talk at the table. They read the news on their tablets in blissful silence.

She was sure it happened later the next week. It was raining that day, and neither felt a need to leave the house. After weeks of not having any time together, she missed his touch. She'd nudged his leg with her cast and smiled at him sweetly. Grant knew an order when got one. It was slow and perfect and they laid on the couch for an hour, him half on the floor so as to not put any weight on her bruised body.

Her rehab started the next day. Grant stayed during that too, mostly to make sure she didn't kill the physical therapist. She was certain the woman was going to apply for combat pay when she got back to S.H.I.E.L.D. Medical.

The cast came off a month after the crash, but her leg still hurt like hell. Maybe it was the haze of (thankfully) safe painkillers that caused her to forget that she was a month overdue for her shot.

Her first clue that something was wrong was the day she got back in the cockpit. She wasn't flying, not on painkillers, but riding co-pilot while Grant flew. He decided to be a show-off and banked hard. The others complained over the comms that if Grant wanted to kill them, there was no need to torture them first. Her stomach wasn't the same after that. Even the slightest movement made her nauseous. She told herself it was the meds.

The second clue came the next day when she limped into the lab to find Simmons with something noxious bubbling out of a flask. She barely make it to the toilet before vomiting. And Simmons smelled like the stuff all day, forcing Melinda to hide out in her bunk.

She wasn't stupid. She'd only ever felt like this once before. She checked on-line for possible side effects of her meds. Nothing indicated this level of nausea. Later that night she worked up the courage to actually look at a calendar. Math didn't lie. She was three weeks late. One could be plausible, two blamed on her injuries, but not three.

Melinda weighed her options. She could go to Simmons or try to slip out and get a pregnancy test. Both sounded like horrible plans. She fell into a fitful sleep, trying to convince herself it was just the meds.

Grant slipped into her bunk after a few hours, just to kiss her goodnight. She told him she was just tired and would try to find time to see him the next day.

She lucked out, really, when Coulson complained that the bread in the galley was stale and was it so unreasonable to have fresh food when they were parked. Melinda jumped at the chance to take the SUV into the small town nearby and find a grocery store with a pharmacy.

So that's how she found herself sitting on a toilet on a secret VTOL airplane, holding a stick with two pink lines.

It shouldn't even have been possible at her age. Two. Pink. Lines. Her brain just stopped working after that. But staying in the lavatory for the rest of her life wasn't really an option.

Melinda pushed the severity of her predicament to the back of her mind. The same place she sent her fear during combat. She was capable of leaving the tiny water closet and facing the others for a least a little while. Grant was another matter altogether.

She sidestepped the lab and made her way to the lounge. FitzSimmons and Skye bounded in, laughing about something.

"Hey, AC gave us leave to hit the town this afternoon, wanna come?" shot Sky.

"Uh, no. But thanks for the offer. I'll just stay here and, you know, watch the millions of dollars' worth of secret hardware," she snapped.

"OKAAAY," said Skye, walking backwards. "AC is in the office and Ward is doing whatever it is Ward does in his bunk. See you later." And she and FitzSimmons hustled away.

She decided hitting her bunk was the best plan, but Grant walked in and plopped down on the couch. "The others bugged out. You feel up to sparing a little, get back in the saddle?"

"No. I do not want so spar!" she hissed. And then it just slipped out, kind of like the time she told Coulson about them. "I'm pregnant." She gulped, barely louder than a whisper.

Grant's froze in place, mouth half open, breathing stopped. Her eyes pleaded with him that this was not some sick joke. The color drained from his face. If he didn't start breathing, he was going to pass out.

She snapped her fingers in his face. "Say something!"

He gulped in some air. "What?"

"You heard me. I'm not saying it again."

"How?"

She cocked her head and glared at him. "You know how!"

She glanced at the stairs, hoping to hell that Coulson planned on staying in his hole for a while. This was not the place for this conversation, but she wasn't thinking straight.

Grant finally regained his ability to speak more than one word. "Are you sure?"

"I took a test," she hung her head. "I didn't say anything because I didn't think it was possible. But the test was positive."

Gant moved to sit right beside her and held her hand in his. "It's going to be OK. We'll figure this out." The tiniest smile appeared on his face. "Are you mad?"

"I don't know what I am," she whispered.

He just sat there, holding her hand, gently rubbing his thumb against her palm, silently telling her that everything was going to alright. She knew instantly from his posture that he wasn't mad. He just sat there, smiling at her.

He stood up. "I am going to ask Coulson for permission the take out Lola and we are going for a drive."

She nodded wordlessly.

The next thing she knew they were backing Lola out and heading down a quit road somewhere in Texas. It was warm already, and the fresh air felt amazing.

After a few miles, Grant pulled over by a pasture and turned off the car. He turned sideways to face her and picked up her hand again. "I love you," said with incredible tenderness.

She sat facing forward, unsure of what to say, afraid of what she might say. Finally, she stated the truth, "Grant, I'm forty-five. The chances of a miscarriage are pretty high. The chances of something being wrong with the baby are high." She paused, holding back tears. "This isn't my first pregnancy."

"What?" he leaned in, looking upset.

"It was a long time ago. I lost the baby. I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. End of story."

"I'm so sorry." He leaned his forehead against hers.

Why did he have to so ridiculously supportive? Did he not realize how insane this was?

He forced out another whisper. "Do you want to end it?"

She looked at him and felt her throat go tight. "How could I?"

Grant took both of her hands and sighed. "I'm not leaving you, ever. You know that."

"I know." She knew with all her heart.

"You can yell at me, and throw knives at me, and whatever else you can think of, but I'm not leaving your side."

"How is this going to work?" she sighed.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out. I promise." They continued to sit in Lola, parked, staring out over some unknown pasture.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next week was uneventful, at least for S.H.E.I.L.D. Their mission in Texas was to collect fragments of something that had fallen out of orbit. The official story was it was an old communications satellite. Unofficially, those fragments were emitting suspicious amounts of gamma radiation.

While FitzSimmons and Skye collected bits and drabs, Coulson and Ward protected their perimeter. Melinda stayed on the Bus, still on medical restricted duty. That gave her plenty of time to sit in the cockpit and think. She was supposed to report back to S.H.E.I.L.D Medical in two days to be re-evaluated. She had until then to decide whether to trust them or find a civilian doctor on her own. She certainly still felt pregnant. The morning sickness had only gotten worse, and the fatigue was overwhelming. At least she could pass that off as recovering from the crash.

Grant did his best to keep it cool, but he still hovered more than she preferred. The day before, Fitz had come back into the lounge with his radiation suit still on. Melinda was just coming out the cockpit when Grant grabbed Fitz bare handed and tossed him in the lab, yelled at him for being so careless, and locked him in.

Melinda's thoughts were interrupted by the team returning with carefully shielded boxes of who knows what. She joined them on the ramp. Fitz stayed as far away from Ward as possible as he made a rather loud point of showing that there was no radiation whatsoever on the Bus. Coulson went straight to his office, something he did more and more, and Simmons and Skye scurried off to change clothes.

Once Fitz disappeared, Grant went to his locker to change. Melinda stood in silence, watching him strip off dirty field fatigues and slip on jeans and t-shirt. She never missed a chance to see him with his shirt off. Grant Ward was the most handsome man she had ever known. He wasn't just tall, dark and handsome, he was a piece of sculpture.

Grant gave her a small smile as he finished up. "Are you doing OK?" he asked quietly.

"I'm good right now, thanks for asking." She handed him his jacket. "I want to tell Phil tonight."

He swallowed hard, "What?"

"I have to face Medical in a few days. I want him to hear it from me, no one else."

Grant nodded. "Do you want me to tell him with you?"

"No. It's OK. It will be better if it's just him and me."

He reached out a touched her hand, "Come find me after?"

She nodded and walked towards Phil Coulson's office.

Melinda stopped and raised her hand to knock on the door, wondering if maybe if this was a good time after all. But was there ever going to be a good time?

She knocked, and half hoped he wouldn't answer

"Come!"

Melinda sat down in the chair in front of him without invitation. "There's something I need to tell you."

He looked tired, frustrated over something, and not in the mood for drama. Yeah, so much for that. "When you asked me to join this Bus, the deal was I fly, nothing else. But we both know how that worked out."

"What are you saying? Do this have to do with what happened? Because you can have more leave if you need it."

"I'll need several months of leave, Phil. And until then, I can't do combat. " She sighed. "I'm pregnant."

He cocked his head and ripped off his glasses. "That's not a subject for a practical joke, May!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" she glared.

The realization that she was serious finally hit him. "No shit?" Then he stood up and started pacing the room. She could sense his anger building. "You just got out of the hospital! What the hell?"

She looked at the floor. "It wasn't exactly planned, Phil."

He waved pointed towards the door and waved his arm, "You and him? A child?"

This was going worse than she feared. She didn't want to fight with Phil. What was the point? Best to just let him vent. It's not like he could do anything about it anyway.

"I thought you supported us? You sent him home to take care of me," she said in an even tone, trying to give him time to process.

He kicked the wall. "We just got this team back together. We are finally a unit again, and now this!" he waved his arm up and down at her.

Now she was ready to fight. She stood up and faced him. "So that's what you're mad about? This unit?"

"Yes!" He paced.

"What about me? What about Grant?" she snapped. "Do you have any idea what we're going through right now?"

"Oh, now it's _Grant_?" He turned his back to her. "I thought it was just sex between you two."

"Things changed, Phil. You _know_ that!"

"I thought we had something good going here, Melinda," he mumbled.

She reached out and touched his shoulder. He tensed even more at her touch. "It's been more than good. But now, I have to deal with this," she whispered.

Phil turned around, his conflict evident on his face. "We're heading back to the Hub ASAP. You're off this plane." He swiped the papers off his desk in one angry motion and stormed out of the office.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Melinda watched the familiar lights mark their approach. She'd made the landing so many times now, she was sure the plane could do it on its own without autopilot.

Grant surprised her when he entered the cockpit. "Strap in. We're descending." To make her point she dove more than necessary and dropped him in the seat.

"Hey! That wasn't nice." He glanced over at her with a grin.

"What's up?" she asked while waiting on instructions from the tower.

He hesitated a seconded but seemed to find his courage. "I talked to Coulson."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped. "You talked to Coulson?" She and Phil hadn't spoken a word to each other in twenty-four hours. Grant kept his distance, and the others were wondering what all the tension was about.

"Yeah, we talked. I told him that he needed to get over it and get used to the fact that you and me- you know…"

"You _told_ Phil Coulson to _get over it_?"

He grinned again. "Yes, I did. And I told him something else."

She turned to face him for the first time. "What's that?"

"I told him I was scared shitless at the thought of being a father, but I'm happy about it." He mumbled a bit as finished and gave her a puppy dog smile.

Melinda felt her throat go tight and her eyes get warm. She didn't know how to respond. Leave to Grant to drop something like that right as she was trying to land an airplane. She couldn't do this now. She needed to change course, and not the plane's. "And how did he respond?" she whispered.

"He told me he was proud of me and walked away," Grant shrugged.

The tower buzzed on her headset. "Prepare for approach." She snapped over the Bus's comms.

Grant sat back and prepared to help her land.

#

Two hours later the boxes of artifacts were loaded onto radiation proof vehicles and whisked away. As FitzSimmons and Skye collected their things, Melinda tossed her one bag over her shoulder and made to leave quietly.

Coulson called to her from the stairs, "May, a word?"

She shot him a dirty look, "Which word would you like: jerk, asshole or something better?"

He walked down the stairs and crossed the distance between them, "Jerk will do."

"Fine," she sighed.

"I overreacted. I'm sorry." He looked sincere. "I've been surprised by a lot things lately, but your news took the prize."

"You're telling me?"

"Walk with me?" he said, nodding to the ramp. She followed in silence. When they were sure the others were out of hearing range, he leaned against the SUV and handed her a piece of paper. "I asked a friend about good civilian doctor. Pepper is, uh, a little hard to please, so a recommendation from her is no small thing."

Melinda took the scrap with a name and number. "Thanks."

"Everyone needs a little break, anyway. Let's talk in a few days?"

Melinda nodded while Coulson patted her on the hand and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Melinda had no idea what to expect from this obstetrician. The last time, she never saw a doctor, it was over before her first appointment. But this time was different. She wasn't a kid. She had more than enough of her own money to take care of herself and her child.

But that was before. There was so much blood on her hands, so much lost. She'd long before stopped thinking that anything like what was happening right now was even possible.

Grant had done exactly what he said, he wasn't leaving. Even when she snapped at him this morning or nearly decapitated the cab driver for taking the wrong route. But as they walked in the building, she realized she couldn't imagine doing this without him.

As she sat in the waiting room, Grant silent beside her, she felt relieved to be away from the freak show that was S.H.I.E.L.D. Here, she was just a normal person, anxious to find out if her pregnancy was normal. The nurse called to her softly, but she jumped anyway.

The doctor was less judgmental than she expected. Maybe she wasn't the first forty-five year old woman to get knocked up by her thirty-two year old boyfriend. Grant stood dutifully in the corner, much too tall for the tiny room.

Melinda lay motionless as the doctor rubbed cold goo on her belly and said "Let's take a peek." The woman sat expressionless as she waved the wand rather firmly around. And then they heard it – the rapid whoosh whoosh sound. "Ah, nice strong heartbeat," The doctor smiled.

Grant found the courage to lean over and look at the screen. His face broke out into a huge smile. "I see a blob," he whispered.

The doctor turned to the screen for Melinda to see her tiny baby for the first time. Grant was right, but she could tell the top from the bottom, a little lopsided peanut. The only sound in the room was the baby's heartbeat amplified by the machine and her own deep breaths as she lay mesmerized by the image. She felt Grant's soft touch on her shoulder.

"That's amazing," he smiled down at her.

She felt every emotion at once rush out: relief, fear, wonder, joy. "We made a baby," she said softly. "Is everything OK?" she asked the doctor.

The woman finished a few clicks on her screen and set down the tool. "It looks like a normal seven week pregnancy. We'll get you cleaned up and talk about diet and lifestyle and you can be on your way."

She felt Grant's firm squeeze on her shoulder at the word _lifestyle_. He didn't have to say a word for her to know exactly what he was saying. She knew then that their lifestyle was about to change. And she also knew right then that was OK with her. She had a new objective now, a new mission: keeping her child healthy and safe.

They left the doctor's appointment holding hands, the little black and white print out tucked safely in her purse. She was sure that some S.H.I.E.L.D. doctor would have given her a holographic 3-D movie or something, but the precious proof of her –their - baby was more than enough for now. She would go to S.H.I.E.L.D. medical if, and only if, necessary. And she knew that Grant agreed with her.

They took sandwiches to a park and sat on bench, enjoying the warm spring breeze. She'd spent so long breathing recycled air, she'd forgotten what days like this smelled like. Grant tossed pieces of crust to a flock of cooing pigeons.

Finally, she said what was on her mind, "Where should we live?"

"Do you mean you and the baby, or all three of us?" It was a subject they'd yet to discuss.

"Do you want it to be all three of us?" she whispered.

"You know I do, Melinda." He turned to face her and took her hand. "I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen."

She raised an eyebrow, "Such as?"

He held both of her hands and smiled. "I'm not exactly sure yet."

She laid her head on his shoulder, "Me neither."


End file.
